My Story Through Letters
by Her-Imaginarium
Summary: Elena's thoughts and feelings in letters about Homecoming and after.
1. Chapter 1

**My Story Through Letters**

**Currently this is a one shot, but if you enjoy it, I'm thinking of turning it into a ficlet, maybe 10 chapters or so.**

**I do not own anything.**

Dear diary,

So it's been a while.

A year ago, I never would have imagined that the pain I felt after loosing my parents could pail in comparison to the pain I feel today. You don't ever think that there could be worse pain than loosing your parents... but then you find out that they weren't your real parents, and confusion takes over. Who am I? Where did I come from? Who do I come from?

Suddenly we have a new History teacher, Mr. Saltzman, Alaric. And his little secret is out; Alaric, the Vampire Slayer! What makes him even more Buffy like is his 'as-long-as-i'm-wearing-this-i'll-never-die' ring, given to him by his undead (technically still married to) wife, Isobell, who, wait for it... Happens to be my birth mother. So I guess you're wondering if that makes Ric, Mr. Saltzman my birth father? That would've been nice wouldn't it have? But sadly no, as it turns out, my Uncle John is actually my real father. You see, he gets a 16 year old Isobell pregnant but for some reason they decide to give me up to my real uncle, who I knew as Daddy. Flash forward 18 years and both sets of parents are dead as well as my aunt Jenna.

_Jenna... I'm so sorry._

My family now consists of my brother Jeremy... My brother. Yes, even if we weren't blood related he would still be my brother and no one or thing, is taking him from me. My family also extends to my best friends; Caroline and Bonnie, Tyler.. In all his hybrid glory, Matt, Ric, Damon and... Stefan. _Stefan_. My brain doesn't function properly when i think of him. My soul hurts too much. I could not go on if anything happened to my family now, almost loosing Damon tore my heart out, then finding out Stefan was gone?

So much has happened.

This journal entry would turn into a Twilight book if I were to reveal every detail of what has happened this last year, so instead I'm going to tell you what happened yesterday.

Yesterday I did a lot of letting go. I let go of a little piece of my humanity. I literally stabbed someone in the back with a dagger, granted she was an Original vampire and wasn't really dead, but I took away from her, her chance to attend her first school dance, a right of passage. She trusted me and I betrayed her, and I did it on my own. Not even Damon knew what I had planned. He said it was very Katherine of me. Is that true? Am I becoming Katherine?

_You mean haven't you become Katherine?_ A tiny voiced echoed in the back of Elena's mind. Shaking that thought she continued writing.

With Rebekha out of the way, I thought we were free to continue with the plan, but Damon had another idea. I should have known... He brought in Katherine to replace me. To be me. I didn't think it was going to work. How was Katherine going to pass as human in front of 2 originals. Surely they were going to smell it out, or notice the lack of heart beet, but Damon had said that A) Mikeal was sure Katherine was dead, after feeding from her. B) Klaus would never think that Katherine would willingly put herself in danger by flaunting herself in front of him. He'd assume she was long gone "sipping Klaus-free margaritas" as Damon put it. And C) there would be too much going on to pay attention to a heart beat.

So as it turns out, Damon was right. Mikeal had Katherine/me as a bargaining chip to lure Klaus out, but Klaus called his bluff and so Mikael stabbed Katherine and so in Klaus' shock, Damon was able to use this to his advantage and dagger Klaus. All would have been over, it was a perfect plan. Was. Through all the perfect planning, we relied on the fact that even though our Stefan was gone and in his place was _Ripper!_Stefan, he still wanted his freedom and a lifetime of obeying someone isn't fun for anyone. So when Stefan came out of no where and tackled Damon off of Klaus thus ensuring his survival, all was lost. Klaus pulled the dagger out before it was penetrated far enough to kill him and daggered his "father" instead. Mikeal went up in flames, died the "true death". As Stefan's reward, he was no longer under Klaus' compulsion. I guess maybe this was his plan all along.

Elena held the pen hovering over the last word and began to tremble, reliving the story Damon had explained. Still in disbelief, Elena wiped at the tears threatening to spill for tenth time tonight.

I told Damon I that we would let him go, no more searching, no more fighting for the Stefan that we both loved. Loved.

I don't give up easily, especially on those that I love, but how much is enough? I know Stefan didn't want this. I know he became the Ripper to save his brother's life and I love him for that, but somewhere inside of him, lies the Stefan I love, at least I thought. He was able to save Damon's life another two more times and even my own life when I found him in his old apartment in Chicago. That night I thought there was hope, but I guess the only person he truly loves is his brother, and I understand that. I respect that, but it still hurts. Am I selfish to want to be his number one at least once? But then that would mean Damon's death. Maybe it has all worked out the way it was meant to. Stefan knows that Damon is the only person that can protect me, do *anything* to protect me, I guess since he can't. I know Stefan loves me, but that isn't enough for him anymore, and I guess it isn't for me either..

Elena paused again as realization hit her with a force. She had meant it when she told Damon that she would let go of Stefan, but she never thought excepting it would come this quickly.

***A/N: Do you think I should continue this, or leave well enough alone?**

**I know I haven't finished my last Delena fic, Remnants, but I'm having serious writers block… I do however feel motivated about this one! And if I continue it will be a Delena one also!**

**xx**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you to the reviewers and alerters. :)**

**This chapters a little small, but it has a life of it's own and I have a scructure to this story. **

Dear diary,

It's been two days since I came to the realization that I would let Stefan go. Since I last wrote in my journal.. Nothing feels the same. Everyone around me that I care about has lost at least one person they love in this past year. When will it end? I long for the days when Katherine was our biggest worry, but then that all came back down to Klaus anyway.

It's been two days since I've seen Damon. I had told him that I just needed a couple of days to clear my head. He didn't argue with me, he simply looked at me, nodded his head and said he understood. I wasn't stupid though, I knew that this didn't include him looking out for me when I slept. Some would find this creepy, but the knowledge that Damon is just outside my house, keeping watch, calms me, allows me the few hours of sleep I allow myself.

During these last couple of days, I've spent most of my time with Caroline, as she's also going through so much, and things with Tyler have become particularly strained, I thought we both needed a couple of girlie days to vent, cry, laugh...

_*"Okay so this is my idea..." said Caroline as she burst through the front door of Elena's house and into the kitchen were Elena was making some toast._

_"Morning" she greeted._

_Caroline plunked down about 6 bags and a suitcase. _

_"Are you moving in?" Elena asked in amazement._

_"Funny!" she replied. "We need a girls night! facials, pizza, new clothes..."_

_"Wait, you bought me clothes?" she cut her off._

_Caroline smiled. "I bought ME clothes and you can have what I don't really want! This way, you don't feel like I'm «doing» things for you. "_

_Elena smiled._

_"So where's Bonnie?" Caroline asked._

_"I don't know, probably with Matt." Elena answered looking up._

_Caroline furrowed her brow in confusion. Elena could see that she wanted to comment. She started a few times then stopped herself. It's actually quite amusing to see a confused, slightly annoyed, unjustified Caroline. _

_"Relax, she's not that comfortable being around here these days." Elena said as She motioned to Jeremy's room upstairs. _

_"I see... So first I thought we'd start off with a Champagne brunch, then move onto facials, then pedi/manis, then a fashion show, dinner, wine, movie.. Then pass out!" said Caroline matter-of-factly._

_Elena thought about it for a moment. There were so maybe reasons to argue the idea, but after everything, the one thing that she was sure of was that life was short. _

_"Sounds like a plan!"_

_Caroline squealed and jumped up and down clapping her hands.*_

ooooooo

A smile appeared on Elena's face from the memories of the last couple of days with Caroline.

ooooooo

Surprisingly enough, Caroline is exactly what I needed. And now it's back to reality. It's been two days since Klaus left. Two days since Stefan left. When do I get my life back? What kind of a life will I have being Klaus' blood bag? There are only two options; we kill Klaus, or I turn.

Elena stared at the last word she had written and remembered that conversation she had with Stefan on top of that mountain. She didn't want to become a vampire more than anything, and it hurt her to say that to Stefan more than anything. But everything is different now.

Not too long ago I told Stefan that I wanted a normal life, I wanted to get married, have kids, grow old... I did not want to become a vampire. But that was when I thought Klaus had what he needed, before I became the blood bag.

How many more attempts at killing Klaus are we going to get? How many more people lives am I going to put in danger until this is done?

ooooooo

Elena had become angry, determined. She put her pen down, grabbed her journal, jacket, keys and stormed down the stairs, out the front door, in her car and headed straight to The Boarding House.

**A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. The next one will be about what happened at The Boarding House. **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: SO I know the last chapter wasn't anything special, but I think I've made up for it with this one. I'd love some honest feedback. - Thanks everyone. ENJOY! Xx**

**ooooooooooooooo**

Dear diary,

I am more determined now than I've ever been. I'm tired of waiting for the next disastrous tragedy to happen, the next perfect plan to blow up in everyone's faces. I'm tired of playing it safe. I'm eighteen and I feel like I've lived two life time's worth of misery.

Last night I came to The Boarding House, I knew Damon was going to come to my house, but I just needed to get out so I met him at the door as he opened it up to let me in.

**ooooooooooooooo**

_"Hey." said Damon as he opened the door to let a determined looking Elena in. "How was your girlie weekend with Barbie?" _

_Elena looked at him with slight annoyance, she knew he knew exactly what it was like. "Exactly what we needed. It was fun and drama free." _

_Damon knew she knew he was there too, no use in trying to hide it. "I know, I was there." he smirked. _

_Elena tried to hide the smile that formed but was failing miserable. _

_Damon struggled with the idea of telling Elena about the latest threat. He would give anything to not have to tell Elena what was going on, but he had promised her no lies. "Okay... So, I'm really liking this new 'I like to party Elena' and I definitely want to continue with it, but first I have some news."_

_Elena's face dropped._

_Damon studied her face. _

_"Just tell me Damon!" _

_"Apparently Katherine and Stefan we're working on their own little plan." Damon started to explain._

_"What?" Elena almost screamed._

_"Yeah... Um, they've kinda stolen Klaus' family from him and are hiding them." Damon was careful with his words, he didn't know how Elena was going to react to the news. But of all the reactions he was preparing himself for, laughter wasn't one of them._

_Elena burst into tears of laughter. Damon was had never really witnessed her laugh like this before. He was stunned and and a little confused. 'had she lost her mind?' he wondered. Elena was struggling to stand and breath, so Damon jumped into action steadying her, but was a little too quick for Elena's reflexes and she found herself against his chest with his hands wrapped around her trying to steady her once again. Elena closed her eyes and took a deep breath, she was very much afraid to open her eyes as she knew as soon as she did, they would be met with an intense, soul searching gaze, within the depths of two ocean blue coloured eyes. _

_Damon struggled to keep his composure, whenever he found himself within such close proximities to Elena, weather he initiated it or not, a constant war raged on in his soul. _

_He forcible snapped out of it and broke the trance like state they were both caught in by taking a step back. "Sorry... I... uh... need a drink." he said breathlessly, and poured himself a drink._

_Elena's body ached from the loss of contact, sadness and loss etched in her eyes. She understood his distance, appreciated it even, but there was a definite ache when he pulled away, and it was becoming increasingly harder to ignore._

_Seconds passed that felt like minutes, the two of them stared at one another until Elena broke the silence this time. "Can I have one of those?"_

_"Why certainly my lady." Damon answered with a glass in his hand._

_Damon watched Elena empty the contents of the glass very closely with intrigue. "Another?" he offered._

_"Yeap!" she answered confidently._

_"Hmmm... One more and that's it missy!" he said in a faux -mocking tone._

_Damon watched her throw back her second drink like a pro. "Wanna hear the rest?" he said with a smirk, and concern in his eyes._

_Elena knew that look, that was the 'I've done something I probably shouldn't have, but I don't care' look. She took in a deep breath and nodded._

_"Our little Hybrid Tyler came to deliver a message. Apparently Klaus has been allowing you to live your life here with your friends and family out of the goodness of his heart... And if we don't find Stefan and return his family, then he is taking you And we'll never see you again."_

_Elena's mouth hung open and her mind swirled._

_Damon continued. "I didn't much like what the douche had to say so I locked him in the cell downstairs, vervained him a little. That should give him some time to reconsider his alliances." _

_"I need to sit down." Elena said, looking a little pale. _

**ooooooooooooooo**

Elena closed her eyes as the memory of the days events played through her mind.

**ooooooooooooooo**

She shook her head trying to clear her mind and continued writing.

How am I ever to live a normal life when my only chance at it, is to kill the un-kill-able.? Some would say that this is my fate, and you can't run from fate! But I'm sure as hell not going to welcome it with open arms. Though it seems my two options of life are to be someone's personal blood-bag or to live undead.

I still don't want to become a vampire, but I definitely do not want to be tied to Klaus for the next 50 years, growing old and dying.. Only living to create hybrids. Even the thought of this life makes my skin crawl.

After Damon broke the news to me that Stefan and Katherine had stolen Klaus' family and Klaus' plan of revenge if he didn't get them back, he tried to contact both Stefan and Katherine for close to an hour before finally getting through to Katherine. Meanwhile, I called Caroline and told her about the Tyler situation, she came right over. That was when I found out about the deadline. Three days.

Three days..


End file.
